I went to church today. It was wonderful, it was refreshing, it was encouraging, and I'm ready for bed. It is extremely encouraging to know that so many people are praying for me; I know that it is making such a difference. Prayer is not mystical, but something that God deserves and desires; honest communication with Him. He longs to hear from us, just as we long to hear from him, and I'm thankful that he is a God who hears his people. We can talk to him candidly but reverently, honestly but humbly, with our concerns and with the concerns of others. It's beautiful. He knows what I need, and chooses to allow other people to get invovled in the process. Equally beautiful.
The sweetest lady gave me a fabric card today with a landscape sewn onto it, and the verse that she listed on it is so applicable to my life. Psalm 63:6-8:
"On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you;
your right hand upholds me."
Laying in bed gets old, but I still choose to remember God - his faithfulness, his considerate and compassionate heart, his love, his patience, his plan, and his purpose for my life. I catch myself thinking not only of his character, but of what he's doing right now. Smiling? Laughing? Radiating? Crying? Jealous? Angry? Concerned? Broken-hearted? Full of lament? All of the above? I so long to see him, and I can't wait until the day when I can behold his face, and fall before his throne. He truly is my help - at every single turn, and I can't help but envisioning myself as a baby chick nestled under its mother's wings, singing a song. The one I've had stuck in my head all day goes like this:
Great is thy faithfulness, oh God my Father. There is no shadow of turning with thee. Thou changest not, thy compassions they fail not. As thou hast been, thou forever will be. Great is thy faithfulness! Great is thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed thy hand has provided; great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.
Lord, may that song be sweet to your ears, and may it bless you. I long to bring you praise, and I long to bring fame and honor to your brilliant name because you deserve it, God. You deserve even more than I have to give.
Clinging to God gets harder because my arms get tired, and my body grows so weak. I get scared, and start wondering if my safety harness is attached. At this moment, I am emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. It has been a very long week, with quite a few battles that I've had to fight (and I should say "we" have had to fight). I'm so thankful that when we give our all, and surrender ourselves to an amazing God, that he upholds us, and takes care of us with such tenderness. Though I may be growing weak, he is strong, and I boast all the more gladly in my weakness. I am tired, but he is enough. He is my strength and my "awakeness" if you will. The watches of the night begin in about T-minus 45 seconds, but I think of him because he is my help, my source of life.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Celebrate.
Dun dun dun duuuuuuuuuun! Guess who's going to church tomorrow, guess who's going to church tomorrow? Me! Me! Me!! Sing it again! Guess who's going to church tomorrow, guess who's going to church tomorrow? Me! Me! Me!!
That's my song. It's about tomorrow. Because I'm going to church.
Whoot whoot! Oh yeah, oh yeah. I'm dancing, I'm dancing.
I'm almost as excited about church as I was for Thanksgibbin'! (We had such a wonderful day together, and we have so much to be thankful for - individually and collectively. We ate dinner at my grandma's house, had some yummy pie, and then officially kicked off the "Christmas Season" with The Polar Express. I sat at the head of the table (which my dad and aunt had all ready to go) with my legs out. It was pretty cool. It tied the night at Olive Garden...a pretty great night. (By the way, I went to Olive Garden last weekend. It was also pretty cool. My peeps wheeled me in, and they had a table all ready to go for my gigantic family. My grandma was also there, and she sat next to me in her walker. We sat down and all seven of us just started giggling. I mean, call it a circus, call it an adventure, call it whatever you want. I only bumped four people, and I had the best time ever. Yay for fake Italian food! Chicken Marsala forever, baby. Wish I had a picture. Wish you could have been there!)
After the movie at grandma's, I had to use the ladies room. I tell you this because it's a funny story, and I'm giving you another thing to be thankful for. You can't tell anyone else. Because it's about poop. Again. If you did happen to have a hard time coming up with something to be thankful for Thursday, consider this: you can go to the bathroom anytime you want without help from anyone. Not complaining. But be thankful.
So, this poop story starts at grandma's house, and ends in my garage. I ended up going poop in the garage. My aunt had to follow my parents home because the toilet, aka Commodie, wouldn't fit in our van with the wheelchair. My dad sped the whole way because it was serious. Catie Circus? Maybe. And maybe I need a tent...it certainly would have come in handy because MAN! I had to go! My parents were freaking out, well, because of what has happened in the past. (See: "Humility") They didn't want that moment in time replicated, and I didn't either. So, my mom being the ingenuitive woman that she is grabbed Commodie from the car & raced into the garage. From the side door of the van, I plopped onto Commodie, my aunt & three sisters formed a wall around me so the neighbors couldn't see my nekked butt, and BAM! It was a magical moment. It was like a real-life Planet Earth movie taking place in our garage. You know, where the big elephants surround the baby ones so they don't get eaten by lions? Except the baby elephant had to go the bathroom in this movie.
Have I mentioned that I have a lot to be thankful for? Fo ril.
In the midst of this joyous post-giving of Thanks weekend, and some crazy poop escapades, I had a really weird day today. First of all, I watched SNL instead of reading my Bible this morning. Not a good idea. Not only did this season stink, but I got off on the wrong foot. It's amazing how much of a difference reading something in the morning can make for me. And, second of all, I napped, and this is always a big mistake. I'm simply not a napper, but I couldn't help it! I'm tired! And my feet hurt! A lot! So when I was grumpy towards my dad today, he got his feelings hurt because he didn't realize that my feet were hurting, and then I felt bad, and then I fell asleep, and then my sister was leaving to go back to Texas and had to wake me up, and I didn't really get to say goodbye because I was in this drunken stupor, and the sad dad left with the mom and the sister, and then I woke up and I just felt sad. I hate saying goodbye. It's to be expected. Not every day is going to be hunky-dory, and my body is still recuperating from a major surgery. I'm human all right, but I don't like having gross days. They make me feel, well, gross.
Which brings me to tomorrow. I feel hope in having the day that God modeled for us: a day of rest. Now, this may sound crazy to you because I lay in bed all day, but I think the rest goes beyond the physical. I'm talking mental and emotional rest. It's all in how I look at it, and I'm thankful that the Holy Spirit uses other people around us to encourage us, and build us up. God so knew what he was doing when he designed the church. The first definition of church from Dictionary.com is "a building for public Christian worship". Eeeeeeeeeehhh. I disagree, Dictionary.com. I think that the first definition should be what they have for number three: the whole body of Christian believers.
The church has come to be important in my life because that's how God has designed me; it's how he designs us all. We need other people. Even if you aren't a "people person", you need other people around you. We need other people. And yes, sometimes it's hard being a part of the church because being around people is a lot of work, but the result is so worth it. We are not called to do life on our own; we are called to do life together. Tomorrow morning, I'm looking forward to sitting next to the people of the church, the body of Jesus, and worshipping our God together; an extension of what we've (hopefully) been doing all throughout the week. It's so beautiful, and it gives me such hope. David, the writer of the Psalms is talkingt to God, and he says, in chapter 92, verse 1:
"What a beautiful thing, God to give thanks, to sing an anthem to you, the High God!
To announce your love each daybreak."
What a celebration it will be! A new day. What an honor to sing songs to the High God. To announce his love; a God that is most worthy of all that we have to give. And not just tomorrow, but each day. I can't wait!
That's my song. It's about tomorrow. Because I'm going to church.
Whoot whoot! Oh yeah, oh yeah. I'm dancing, I'm dancing.
I'm almost as excited about church as I was for Thanksgibbin'! (We had such a wonderful day together, and we have so much to be thankful for - individually and collectively. We ate dinner at my grandma's house, had some yummy pie, and then officially kicked off the "Christmas Season" with The Polar Express. I sat at the head of the table (which my dad and aunt had all ready to go) with my legs out. It was pretty cool. It tied the night at Olive Garden...a pretty great night. (By the way, I went to Olive Garden last weekend. It was also pretty cool. My peeps wheeled me in, and they had a table all ready to go for my gigantic family. My grandma was also there, and she sat next to me in her walker. We sat down and all seven of us just started giggling. I mean, call it a circus, call it an adventure, call it whatever you want. I only bumped four people, and I had the best time ever. Yay for fake Italian food! Chicken Marsala forever, baby. Wish I had a picture. Wish you could have been there!)
After the movie at grandma's, I had to use the ladies room. I tell you this because it's a funny story, and I'm giving you another thing to be thankful for. You can't tell anyone else. Because it's about poop. Again. If you did happen to have a hard time coming up with something to be thankful for Thursday, consider this: you can go to the bathroom anytime you want without help from anyone. Not complaining. But be thankful.
So, this poop story starts at grandma's house, and ends in my garage. I ended up going poop in the garage. My aunt had to follow my parents home because the toilet, aka Commodie, wouldn't fit in our van with the wheelchair. My dad sped the whole way because it was serious. Catie Circus? Maybe. And maybe I need a tent...it certainly would have come in handy because MAN! I had to go! My parents were freaking out, well, because of what has happened in the past. (See: "Humility") They didn't want that moment in time replicated, and I didn't either. So, my mom being the ingenuitive woman that she is grabbed Commodie from the car & raced into the garage. From the side door of the van, I plopped onto Commodie, my aunt & three sisters formed a wall around me so the neighbors couldn't see my nekked butt, and BAM! It was a magical moment. It was like a real-life Planet Earth movie taking place in our garage. You know, where the big elephants surround the baby ones so they don't get eaten by lions? Except the baby elephant had to go the bathroom in this movie.
Have I mentioned that I have a lot to be thankful for? Fo ril.
In the midst of this joyous post-giving of Thanks weekend, and some crazy poop escapades, I had a really weird day today. First of all, I watched SNL instead of reading my Bible this morning. Not a good idea. Not only did this season stink, but I got off on the wrong foot. It's amazing how much of a difference reading something in the morning can make for me. And, second of all, I napped, and this is always a big mistake. I'm simply not a napper, but I couldn't help it! I'm tired! And my feet hurt! A lot! So when I was grumpy towards my dad today, he got his feelings hurt because he didn't realize that my feet were hurting, and then I felt bad, and then I fell asleep, and then my sister was leaving to go back to Texas and had to wake me up, and I didn't really get to say goodbye because I was in this drunken stupor, and the sad dad left with the mom and the sister, and then I woke up and I just felt sad. I hate saying goodbye. It's to be expected. Not every day is going to be hunky-dory, and my body is still recuperating from a major surgery. I'm human all right, but I don't like having gross days. They make me feel, well, gross.
Which brings me to tomorrow. I feel hope in having the day that God modeled for us: a day of rest. Now, this may sound crazy to you because I lay in bed all day, but I think the rest goes beyond the physical. I'm talking mental and emotional rest. It's all in how I look at it, and I'm thankful that the Holy Spirit uses other people around us to encourage us, and build us up. God so knew what he was doing when he designed the church. The first definition of church from Dictionary.com is "a building for public Christian worship". Eeeeeeeeeehhh. I disagree, Dictionary.com. I think that the first definition should be what they have for number three: the whole body of Christian believers.
The church has come to be important in my life because that's how God has designed me; it's how he designs us all. We need other people. Even if you aren't a "people person", you need other people around you. We need other people. And yes, sometimes it's hard being a part of the church because being around people is a lot of work, but the result is so worth it. We are not called to do life on our own; we are called to do life together. Tomorrow morning, I'm looking forward to sitting next to the people of the church, the body of Jesus, and worshipping our God together; an extension of what we've (hopefully) been doing all throughout the week. It's so beautiful, and it gives me such hope. David, the writer of the Psalms is talkingt to God, and he says, in chapter 92, verse 1:
"What a beautiful thing, God to give thanks, to sing an anthem to you, the High God!
To announce your love each daybreak."
What a celebration it will be! A new day. What an honor to sing songs to the High God. To announce his love; a God that is most worthy of all that we have to give. And not just tomorrow, but each day. I can't wait!
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