This morning, my baby sister helped my mom wash my hair. Then she helped me style it. It looks so stinkin' cute...I'm not even going to lie. But you know what? She did not do it the way I wanted.
This sister is on the quieter side, unlike me. I'm always telling people how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, whether or not I've pooped that day (which I haven't - pray for me. The meds are killing me.) I'm like a walking billboard for TMI, but I don't care. My sister is much more reserved than I am - she watches everything that's going on around her before she states her opinion. It usually gives her an informed one, at that. Anyway, I had asked her if she would blow-dry my hair, and she always plays off like she doesn't want to do things (even if she really does). I asked her to hold up the mirror instead, but I couldn't reach the back very well in my wheelchair, so she took over for me. She started to comb it in the wrong direction, and I kept getting frustrated. I kept wanting to say "M, do it this way, not that way", but I just let go of it. When she was done, it looked so cute!
One of the things I think that God is going to teach me over the next several months is what it means to wait. You'd think I'd have this down by now, right? I have made so many important decisions in my life & I have been given time to listen and pray about what to do next. But nope. Not so great at waiting. ESPECIALLY when I'm driving. Oh man. It's bad. I need to be humbled.
In the mornings, I have to wait for others to get up so I can pee. I have to wait for my poop to be ready to come out. I have to explain how I like my butt to be wiped, and be paitient when the wiper doesn't get it (. The universe does not revolve around me just because I fell and broke some bones. And, the process is incredibly humbling. Life is carrying on for the people around me (which is so exciting!), and I am going to have to wait until my body heals. I am going to have to take a lot of time to learn how to walk again. I am going to have to wait to hear what God says I'm supposed to do next after I'm done healing from this accident, and this freaks me out.
But you know what Psalm 39:7 says? "Lord...my hope is in You."
There is so much hope, right!? One of my closest friends gave me a little wall decoration that says "Hope" on it. It has been such an encouragement to me because I keep beating myself up when I don't do things right. I get so frustrated when I'm not as patient as I could be, or when I immediately think of myself.
Sometimes I want something, but I wait a few extra minutes because I know my mom is still eating her dinner. Eventually, the bottom-wiper got it, and we're in business. I haven't peed my bed yet, and I don't think I will. I mean, think about all of the blessings that come in my day: I can get into a wheelchair, and move around my house; I have the use of my mouth, hands, eyes, nose, ears, arms, and butt; I have nothing hanging over my head (my job wants me back!); I have a warm bed to sleep in & pillows to make it comfy; I have food & clean drinking water; I can breathe well...wow! Most importantly, I serve & love a God that knows my every need, and wants to meet them. He deserves all the credit for these things - he is so good to me. To us.
Being humbled helps us to focus on the things that matter. Falling from a 20-foot wall? Humbling. Very much so. But, from the moment I hit the ground, God has used it to make me even MORE thankful for the ways that he has so richly blessed my life. Please pray for me; that I don't lose sight of these things in the midst of the hard times. How can I pray for you?
