About Me

Hey there! I'm a twenty-three year old Jesus follower, and this blog is to record all of the goings-on in my life within the next months. I recently broke both of my legs, and feel God leading me to tell my story - a story of redemption and grace, of hope and pain, of excitment and fear. May you be deeply blessed as you read. Shalom!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Do.

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." -James 1:19 & 20

This verse today in my life?  Epic, epic fail.

I just deleted a really petty list of reasons why I was so cranky today.  I have no excuses.  My new goal this week: to be incredibly quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.  Slow to become irritated, and more apt to be less focused on myself.

James goes on to say: "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do." (22-25)

Another pitfall in my life?  Doing what I know I need to do.  Seriously, I can't remember what my face looks like when I try to picture it in my head.  I am this person that James is talking about.  What would help is to look more intently into the eyes of Jesus, and listen to him more as I'm reading his word. 

I'm so thankful for worship, and the way that as I bring my crud before the Father, I can lay it all down at his feet.  That he comes and takes all of my stuff, and makes me clean.  And it's just amazing how he knows what I need to hear.  I've been singing this song all week, and we sang it at church this morning.  It's by a guy named Charlie Hall...

Oh Christ, be the center of our lives.
Be the place we fix our eyes,
Be the center of our lives.

You're the center of the universe,
everything was made in You, Jesus
Breath of every living thing, everyone was made for You

You hold everything together, You hold everything together...

Oh Christ, be the center of our lives!
Be the place we fix our eyes,
Be the center of our lives.

We lift our eyes to heaven,
And we wrap our lives around Your life
We lift our eyes to heaven, to You."

I distinctly remember singing this in the hospital the night after my surgery, and it is still my continued prayer for this very week.  Nearly three months in, and I'm still praying it.

Christ, please be the center of our lives.  Please be the place we fix our eyes; be the center of our lives.  And not just by our words, but by the way that we live our lives.

Blanket.

It is freezing cold.  My toes have been in cozy socks, and they are still frozen.  Along with my nose.  My toes and my nose.  I know how to rhyme!  But seriously, they are the only things that get cold on my body, and I can't get them warm.

So I grabbed an extra blanket for tonight.  It was given to me by my grandma quite a few years ago.  It's sort of a throw, I guess you might say.  It is cream and forest green with sheep sewn around the edges, and a Psalm stitched into the center.  Psalm 23 to be exact.

Huddled underneath my warm layers this evening, I started to peruse Netflix.  I found myself watching "David" (with Richard Gere) tonight, mostly out of curiosity.  It may sound like a ridiculous movie, but it wasn't that bad.  Richard Gere is one of my top-ten favorite male actors (as I'm sure he is for many), but I was interested in the fact that he starred in such a movie because he is a practicing Buddhist.  I think he was in "David" before he stepped into Buddhism.  Or he is just a really good actor.

Anyway, the movie's beginning includes David's encounter with Goliath, the gigantic Philistine man.  He starts to say Psalm 23 out loud, and it occurred to me that I was laying underneath exactly what this man was saying.  It was weird because the very words that came across David's lips thousands of years ago are stitched into my blanket.  Isn't that so bizarre?

Here it is, Psalm 23:

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
   for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
   through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
   for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
   they comfort me.

 You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
   forever.

(Emphasis is mine)

I have so much more to understand about this chapter in the Psalms.  David wrote this one; he was a shepherd himself.  I've always wanted to try shepherding, ever since I saw a family do it on National Geographic.  It's no easy task mind you, and, out of frustration, I would probably abandon my sheep.  Seriously.  They're stupid, and they smell.  But the thing I admire about shepherds is their ability to have compassion on their flock, and to take care of them in spite of themselves.

I have only been a Christ-follower for about ten years.  At so many points I have looked up at my Shepherd after traipsing off, and getting lost, and I have thought, "Is now the point at which you are going to abandon me?  Is it now that I no longer will receive your love?  Will I never see your rod and staff again?  Because I feel stupid, rank with disobedience & selfishness." 

Time and time again Jesus has shown his faithfulness to me.  Sometimes people will refer to him as the "Good Shepherd".  It's not just the title of a ridiculous movie with a white, pasty, blond-haired Jesus; it's the truth.  This was one of the first Psalms that I ever heard, and I still have yet to comprehend parts of it.  Part of me is afraid of this Psalm.  And yet, part of me revels in the fact that the Creator of the Universe treasures me as one of many sheep in his flock.  It feels so wonderful to be blanketed, literally, in these words.  To know that as I fall asleep tonight, Jesus sings this song over me: as my Lover, my King, my Friend, and my Savior.  My Shepherd.

To be blanketed in his words is to live a full, content life.  Warmed by his love.