About Me

Hey there! I'm a twenty-three year old Jesus follower, and this blog is to record all of the goings-on in my life within the next months. I recently broke both of my legs, and feel God leading me to tell my story - a story of redemption and grace, of hope and pain, of excitment and fear. May you be deeply blessed as you read. Shalom!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Progress.

I got six words for you:

I am sleepin' upstairs tonight, kids.

Elihu.

I just read a little bit of Job.  I don't know how I ended up there, but I somehow did.  Maybe it was my subconscious...I don't know.  I think I have been having a pity party the last few days.  It was highly unnecessary for me to do so; I somehow lost focus of Jesus, not just in the moments when I fell over (multiple times), but in the moments afterward.  

So I ended up in Job, and I remembered a paper I wrote in college on Job's four friends.  They all have Old Testamenty names: Zophar, Eliphaz, Bildad, & Elihu.  If you don't know the story of Job, he is a man that respects God, and tries to live the life God wants him to.  God allows everything to be taken away from Job: his kids, his flocks, his status...everything (except his wife...)  Anyway, Job is talking these friends several chapters later in the book, and each friend responds to him somehow.  In fact, each friend has a chapter of their own: the first three friends ask questions of Job (very critically I must say - they sort of attack him), and Job responds (at length.  I'm summarizing a great deal here.)  Then you get to the end of the book, and you finally hear the fourth friend, Elihu, after the three friends and Job have gone back and forth:


"So these three men stopped answering Job, because he was righteous in his own eyes.  But Elihu son of Barakel the Buzite, of the family of Ram, became very angry with Job for justifying himself rather than God. He was also angry with the three friends, because they had found no way to refute Job, and yet had condemned him. Now Elihu had waited before speaking to Job because they were older than he. But when he saw that the three men had nothing more to say, his anger was aroused."  Job 32:1-5

After this passage, Elihu speaks for several chapters to job and his friends.  He had a lot to say to Job & his friends, and he says it in humility, but with great passion.  The titles of these chapters are (Message Version):


God's Spirit Makes Wisdom Possible
God Always Answers, One Way or Another
It's Impossible for God to Do Evil
God Makes His Creation a Classroom
Those Who Learn From Their Suffering


I started blogging this last night, but I couldn't finish because it was too much for me to think about.  But I decided to come back to it, and write about it, because it is kind of a huge break-through for me.  A subtle, but huge breakthrough.


I have been trying to justify myself, rather than God.  I have taken my focus off of him in the last few days, and instead focused on my limitations.  I mean, I'm not even sure I know how to fix my eyes upon Jesus when I can only see my limitations.  And the reason that I have been so emotional about it is because it is a picture that represents so much of my life, especially in the last few years; when I see my limitations, I become fixated on them, rather than on Jesus.


Reading Job last night, and seeing the way that Elihu spoke so much truth into Job's life (and the lives of his friends) was so powerful for me.  In fact, GOD actually uses what Elihu says as a springboard!  There is this huge storm happening in the background, with thunder and lightning, and then, all of sudden, God steps in and confronts Job.  He asks (in a much longer stream than this), "Have you gotten to the bottom of things, Job?  What do you have to say for yourself?"


Job answers.  Do you know what he says?  "I'm ready to be quiet and listen."


God responds again (with such patience...) with (titles) like, "I want straight answers" and "I run this Universe."  God is in control!  Not Job!


Job responds with worship - he has a renewed sense of awe.  The title of his response is, "I babbled on about things far beyond me."


And God accepts his babbling.  His prayer. 


I (Catie) have no idea if any of this makes sense, but it was such a revelation for me, given my stinky attitude over the last couple of days.  I came across this verse in the New Testament after reading all of this last night, (in a forwarded e-mail about Buzz Aldrin & his communion on the moon), and I immediately knew, through all of the repetition, that God was clearly speaking to me.


“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." -John 15:5