Grateful.

"To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven." -- Johannes A. Gaertner

I read an article today in the Los Angeles Times that said that Google's Hot Trends (the search engine stalker for Google) was showing "Thanksgiving Quotes", etc. as an off-the-charts subject today.  I'm one of the millions that had to look for a quote that embodied "Thanksgiving"...I call it research.  Johannes is what I found...the internet is something for which I am thankful.

Today is technically the day that we call Thanksgiving, being that it's a little after midnight.  Our house smells so good; the residual smell from the preparation for tomorrow lingering in the air.  My mom does the majority of the cooking in our house, and we all kind of chip in as she needs help.  It's funny because she realized that she was out of Cinnamon, Cloves, and Nutmeg at separate times, luckily retrieved in one trip though.  I thought it was funny - she's cute.  She has deep, southern roots & such a beautiful heart.  It's so much fun just to watch her, and to watch her cook.  I can remember doing it ever since I was little.  I'm thankful for her, and the way that she serves our family with humility and grace.  My prayer is that the rest of us in the familia can do the same; the focus being namely me. 

I remember one Thanksgiving we received a meal basket from our church because my family was struggling while my dad was in seminary.  It was so much fun to unload all of the groceries that were brought over to us by several people from Faith Church in Grayslake, IL; my first church.  Some of the things that we got were so foreign to me; we always got to choose what we would eat in the past, but that year we ate what we were given.  It seems so long ago, but it really wasn't.  The years that we had very little were the years that I found myself relying the most on God.  I can vividly remember watching him at work in my life & in the lives of my family members amidst the struggle and pain.  I had only been a Christian for two or three years when my lifestyle was drastically changed before my eyes, and I found myself pondering this God who called me to look to him to provide - down to each morsel of food.  I mean, I had never even seen generic food in our house before.  To think - he could see me, and see my needs.  It was weird.  But there was this calm.  God began to teach me humility in those years, and I'm so thankful.

To look in our kitchen tonight, and to, first of all, be alive to smell and see and appreciate is something I'm grateful for in and of itself.  I like to think about thinking, and I'm thankful to be alive to think.  I will never forget what has happened to me in the last few weeks, and I cannot stop thanking God that I landed on the ground the way I did: not on my back or my head, but right on my feet.  I'm alive.  To be able to sit around a couple of kitchen stools for a make-shift table playing a game of Clue with all three of my sisters, and to laugh at our dorky dogs, and to soak in the smells in our house...it's pretty indescribable.  I mean, I'm thankful that we can afford lighting so we can see each other at 4pm.  Seriously. 

God, help me to remember to pray for those who can't right now.

This morning I was kind of frustrated with myself because I was really getting caught up in the romanticism of Thanksgiving.  I easily forgot to stop and pray for those who don't have food for tomorrow, or ovens to cook it in, or houses to live in, or families to surround them and support them. 

Father, forgive me.

I envision food and laughter and beautiful flowers and fall decorations and napping in the afternoon.  These things are good things, blessings to me, but I think that the day of giving Thanks is so much more than those things; giving thanks doesn't just happen on a day.  Or in a week.  Or in a month.  Like Johannes says, it's a lifestyle.  Even then, I don't think he says enough in that quote...he makes it seem like we are to touch Heaven in our own strength.  But, Paul (& Timothy?), the author of a book called Colossians says that it's more than that.  Chapter 3, verse 12-17 says:

 "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, [this being people who are following Jesus] clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
  Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

I love that imagery: clothing yourself with things like compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  What colors do you think those things would be?  I love that love is above all of these virtues.  Why do you think that is?  I love that Paul sticks in one of my favorite verses, right in the middle of his admonishment to the church in Colossae: 

"And be thankful." 

It's so simple, right?  I had to put this whole chunk of verses in because it's like a cookie - I couldn't just pull out the chocolate chips, man.  But the simplicity of that verse is so sweet.  "And be thankful."  Who'da thunk?

The second paragraph appeals to me because I love love love singing to God with gratitude.  I really don't like singing by myself, or singing in performances, but put me right at Jesus' feet and I can't stop.  I just have so much to be thankful for!!!  I can't WAIT until I get to wheel into church (hopefully this week) and "stand" alongside other people and just sing.  And listen.

One of the things that I've gotten in a habit of doing in the last few years, (and especially this last year) is to write down a list of all of the things I can think of that I'm thankful for.  And, there's stuff that's not even on my list because I don't even realize all of the things I should be thankful for.  It's crazy ridiculous!  It's amazing what sitting down for half an hour will bring to your mind though - it's a discipline that I try to maintain even when I'm frustrated or feeling sad as well.  Sometimes my lists are specific, like when I'm with friends drinking soy hot chocolate at The Steaming Cup in Waukesha, WI, and the leaves are falling like confetti from the Gleditsia Triacanthos trees, and I'm sitting in the sun, soaking up it's rays.  Sometimes they are more broad and encompassing, like the one below.  Just depends on how the Lord leads.  Writing it down though, making it tangible - it is an eye-opening and very humbling thing.

So, in an effort to continue to verbalize the many, many, many ways that God has proven himself faithful to me, I want to share my list.  It's not to brag, and it's not to boast.  It's not to compare lists with other lists.  It's to declare God's wonder & bring him glory.  Here are just a few, in order of importance.
I'm thankful that:

1) There is (I said was, but it's "is") this guy named Jesus who is showing me what love is every day.  He loves me.  Passionately.  Fervently.  Faithfully.  And not just me, but us. You and I.  The 6,790,062,216 people who inhabit the earth.
2) That He found me & I found him, and that the timing of my life has been under his orchestration.  I'm alive.
3) That I live in a country where I'm free to talk about this man, and blog about him, and smile when I think about him.  There is no fear of what might happen to me when I study Scripture or pray or do something like walk out of church.
4) That my family members closest to me have committed their lives to him as well, and want to be more like him each day.
5) That said family that is working to try to be like Jesus when we interact, and that when we fail, we have forgiven one another.  It's been & will be a long process, but we are members of one body.
6) For friends that encourage me and build me up in who God is shaping me to be.  They pray for me, and speak truth into my life.  They wait around in hospital rooms with me.  Friends that celebrate who I am becoming, and have loved me even when I wasn't becoming.  Or really loud. 
7) That I have clean drinking water. That comes out of a faucet. That comes to me in a cup. Sometimes with this stuff called "ice", and that (for now) there is no threat to our water supply, no war being waged over who gets what water.  Yet.
8) That we have food in abundance, food I'm not allergic to, food that keeps us healthy, time to share it with one another, and the capacity to cook it and enjoy it.
9) That I am even able to communicate these things: via words & writing & reading, via English, via a computer.  And that I have the ability to choose what languages to learn next.
10) That God continues to reveal to me what I need to be thankful for, and works in my heart when I don't understand or I forget exactly what I have.  Right in front of me.

When I look over this list, I wonder if, 1) I should share it, 2) If I sound like I'm preaching, 3) If I sound boastful, and 4) How God could choose to bless me, of all people, with these things.  I mean, these things are huge.  They are so, so huge.  Numbers 1, 2, 4, & 10 in that list are pretty permanent, but if all the others disappear, I still want to be living a lifestyle of gratitude.  I was once someone whom you could have considered to be "lost."  Like, without purpose or vision or gratitude or sustainable love/joy/peace/patience.  Without an intimate connection to Jesus.  There is this song... it's one I haven't heard in a while, but I thought of it when I looked at the title of our blog.  The words go like this:

I'm forever grateful to you, I'm forever gratetful for the cross.
I'm forever gratetful to you, that you came to seek and save the lost.

Those two lines pretty much sum me up.  And, I love it that I have the privilege of being forever grateful; the joy never has to end.  I so look forward to the day where I get to stand and bask in the glory and warmth of God, and spend forever and ever with him.  For that, I truly I am and will be eternally grateful.