Rain.

Today's rain was so beautiful to me.  I just laid in my car for half an hour soaking up the noise around me.  It was like a blanket of peace intertwined in my legs, and surrounding my body.  There is nothing like the smell of a rainy day.  I'm so thankful that my hearing and smelling and tasting receptors are intact.  I'm lucky I didn't bite my tongue off or jam anything up my nose on my way down when I fell.  Something else to be thankful for. 

I had such a fun day today.  It was refreshing after a rough patch of days.  Mondays are always fun because it is my dad's day off, and so we celebrate with things like going out to eat (nothing fancy - just like Taco Bell's tostadas or something fun and cheap), or going to a store, or getting hot chocolate from Starbucks.  Or, in his case working on the house.  Fun, fun, fun!  He built my ramp on a Monday, and installed the guard rails on a Monday, and tries to get the honey-do stuff done on a Monday.  Today he went shopping with my mom and I all day.  On a Monday.  He's a good man.  Having four daughters is a hefty responsibility, and he handles it well.  He has to go shopping a lot.  Or wait in the car.  Pretty sure he never would have imagined it that way, but he takes it all in stride.  He sometimes likes shopping...I don't know if he'll admit it.  : )

Anyway, we spent a large majority of the day at the mall nearby my house.  Strolling and rolling around - it was super.  I'm getting more and more used to people staring at me, and I've gotten to the point where I just pretend like I don't see people gawking (and I mean gawking) at me so they can stare freely, and try to figure out why the heck a chick is in a wheelchair being wheeled around with both legs straight up in the air.  Guess away, my friends, guess away.  It sounds like a really fun game.

The sweetest old lady came up to us while the three of us were sharing our Chinese food plate, and started talking to us about Jesus.  It was so fast, one second she was asking me what happened to my legs, and then the next second she was telling us about how we needed Jesus in our live - she started sharing the gospel (a short description of Jesus' life, how it applies to our lives, and how we respond as human beings.  The gospel is the hope that is found in Jesus.  In case you didn't know.  Like me.  : )  It was a crazy encounter!  Her name was Rosita.  She smelled so good; like roses with a hint of sweet grandma.  Anyway, I love listening to peoples' stories, and we definitely got to hear some of her life story.  Most definitely.  My parents and I prayed with her & went on our way. 


One thing I noticed though is how much differently she presented the gospel than I do.  She kept saying (and I really should say yelling) things like "You're going to hell without Jesus", or "separation for eternity from Him".  

As a human being, I don't like hearing those words.  As a Christian, I read them, and I still don't like them.  The truth of the matter is that what she was saying is actually something that Jesus talked about in the Bible.  Jesus only spoke truth, and sometimes he said some harsh things - he claimed to be the only way to heaven.  I came across a verse today, and it kind of put things in perspective for me.  (I have had a lot of things put into perspective for me in the last weeks, but it continues even still.  I guess life truly is a life-long journey.   : ) 

Jesus is talking to his disciples (in Mark 13, Mark being the disciple), and he's telling them that they are going to be beaten, flogged, hated, and killed because they associated themselves with Him.  I mean, I'm sorry, but I may have just quietly tip-toed away at that point in the conversation. Like, "whistle whistle whistle...GONE."  No one would have had time to say, "Where's Catie?", (which they often do...)  I can see me now...sneaking around buildings, Mission Impossible style, unattaching myself from narrowing eyes.  I mean, come on.  Flogging?  Death?  But the disciples were so enthralled by Jesus that they stayed.  He.  Was worth it.  I mean, I'm sure their knees were shaking, and their heads were spinning (and mine would have been too), but they stayed!  It really says something about Jesus, doesn't it?  These were smart people, and yet they were drawn to Jesus in such unimaginable ways.  I am too.  

Jesus then warns them that people are going to lie about the Messiah, but that they should remember what they have seen (and some of them even go on to write down those things they have seen.)  Then he gets to a part about a tree.  I just love trees.  Soooo...Mark 13:28-37:


“Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near."  (Unless strange weather patterns keep them blooming so that their leaves are coming out in November too...ha ha just kidding.  Catie commentary ending now.)  "Even so, when you see these things happening, you know that it is near, right at the door. Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away. ...It’s like a man going away: He leaves his house and puts his servants in charge, each with their assigned task, and tells the one at the door to keep watch. Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back—whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn. If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to everyone: ‘Watch!'”
 
This is an intense verse.  There's even...an exclamation point!  It made me think of my intense Rosita encounter.  I do not like to think about dying or passing away, and yet my very life could have been taken from me.  I'm certainly thinking about it now!  I think it is important to reflect upon the fact that our lives are but a mist, a vapor in the wind.  We are so finite in the grand scheme of things, and I think we too easily get caught up in our own universes.  We grow arrogant, and self-righteous because we forget these truths.  

I mean, seriously, every year I'm disgusted by reports of people being trampled because others are so focused on what they want.  For things that will be old news the following year, but who thinks of that when you're in the front of the line at Target because you've been waiting since 12:00am Central Time, and you really really really want that new T.V.!  Did you know that someone died on Black Friday last year!?  I've stopped going out on BF because it disgusts me.  I'm not judging all people that do; some people do it and have a sense of contentment deep down in their souls.  Even if they don't get that thing, they'll be ok, and you know, they might just let that jerk cut them in line.  GASP!  It's so easy though, isn't it?  To get so caught up in the go go go mantra of our culture.  I do.  Get get get.  More more more.  You must must must have this this this.  It's never-ever ending.  And it's always so enticing, so delicious, but always so illusive.  We never. seem. to. have. enough. 

One of my favorite lines in that passage is this one:


"Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away."


How much more important do Jesus' words become in that moment?  The real question is: do we believe those words?  Are they really true?  Some of you may just stop reading here because you don't believe that Jesus was real, or that he existed.  Some may disagree that Jesus was God; maybe you think he was a great prophet.  Others might say that he was a great person, a figure to aspire to be like in life.  Still others say that he was a crazy-head who was overly involved in politics, or that he had an affair with Mary Magdalene.  I don't know what you believe, and I don't know what you know of this Jesus.  

What I believe and know is that the very Jesus talking in this verse, and all the others in the New Testament is the Jesus has changed my life.  He has transformed my heart into what it is today, from a very self-focused, self-absorbed, self-appreciating, prideful, angry, and often unkind girl into someone who longs to made into his likeness: other-focused, enemy-loving, always kind, truthful at all times, patient to the point of blood boiling temperatures.  Vulnerable.  Meek.  Lowly.  Forgiving.  He continues to transform my hear each day.  I need him because he is the source of the things.  The Source of Life.  I believe that he was the Son of God, not because I like fairy tales, but because I believe the things I read in the Bible; he claimed to be the Son of God, and that's why I believe he is.  And the people that followed him were not brainwashed - they were educated, smart people, some were even leaders in their day.  I may be brainwashed & a little loopy, so you better be careful, eh?  ; )  These people testify to this Jesus.  And, like Rosita was saying, if we reject this gospel, one of peace, but one of great commitment & cost, we spend forever separated from this same Jesus.


So when I was listening to Rosita today, the question I found myself asking was, what is the truth? 


C.S. Lewis once said that we could believe that Jesus was one of three things: a liar, a lunatic, or lord.  What is the truth?  You have to pick one.  So, on this rainy day, I thought of another song, and it's my prayer for you and for me.


(chunks from) Rain Down by Delirious:

Looks like tonight, the sky is heavy, feels like the winds are gonna change.
Beneath my feet, the earth is ready, its time for heaven's rain.

Chorus:
Because it's living water we desire, to flood our hearts with holy fire.

Rain down all around the world we're singing;
Rain down can you hear the earth is singing?
Rain down my heart is dry but still I'm singing;
Rain down, rain it down on me.

Back to the start, my heart is heavy. Feels like it's time to dream again!
I see the clouds, and yes I'm ready to dance upon this barren land.  : )  (Macarena!)
Hope in my hands!  Chorus...

Do not shut the heavens, but open up our hearts.

Give me strength to cross the water. Keep my heart upon Your altar.
Give me strength to cross this water. Keep my feet don’t let me falter.

Do not shut the heavens, but open up our hearts, open up our hearts.
Do not shut the heavens, but open up our hearts, open up our hearts.