Panic.

I somehow acquired 12 viruses on my computer this evening, and the first thing I said?  "Dad!!!"  He's my computer hero.  He always saves the day.  Turns out all I had to do was run a virus scan, and they would disappear.  Sadly, I did not know that.  I guess it's because I've never had one.  All I saw was a flashing "Warning! Your computer has been infected" sign on my screen, and I was screaming.  It was an intense moment to say the least.  And, I don't think I'll ever own a Mac, so let's stop saying the word "virus", or it might spread.

I actually haven't felt that kind of panic in a while.  At least a month.  It was something very silly to start freaking out about, but I got a laptop recently as a graduation gift & I'm in hyper-sensitive mode.  I've been wiping it down with Windex & smooth pieces of cloth.  You would think it was a small child.  And, yes, I've used Windex on small children before. ??  It only took a blinking sign to get me all out of sorts for a full two minutes.  The crisis was averted though.  Panicky feeling is gone.

I think it's funny how I sometimes function that way.  Life will be moving in one direction, something will happen (or not happen), and I'm left saying, "Dad!!!"  God is such a patient dad.  It's not like there's only a certain number of times we can call on him for help, or in frustration, or in moments of joy, and happiness. 

I happen to love birds.  I really really like birds, and I love trying to identify them.  My MeeMaw used to send my mom "Birds & Blooms" every month - all of the articles were written by, like, eighty year old men and women.  I would read that magazine from cover to cover in one sitting, and feel like a million bucks afterward.  I love it that the Bible talks about birds, I love it that Matthew talked about birds - I hope that we get to birdwatch together in heaven.  Birds were a large part of the Jewish culture because they were required for different things such as covenants or sacrifices.  Matthew mentions them in reference to being seen by God:

Matthew 6:26
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

I love it that God is so interested in the things that happen in our lives in the everyday moments.  Not just when big things happen to us, the big decisions we have to make, or the big falls that we take, but in the moment to moment things.   There is no amount of fame or fortune that can make us more valuable to God - we are already very valuable to him.  I think the hard part is not just hearing that, but living that way.

Do I consider myself valuable because he does?  Not necessarily.  I should, but I don't always.  There are moments when I accomplish something, and instead of immediately thanking God, I sort of look at him and say, do you like me more now?  Am I worth more now?  In my own mind I am, but that is not the mindset of God.  We are valuable to him at all times, so much so that he paid a high cost for us: the death of his son.  We are of great worth to God.  It gives me a great reason not to panic in life.  : )