Forgive.

 Matthew.  Oh Matthew. 
Where would we be without you?
I just rhymed. 

"The chief priests and the whole Sanhedrin were looking for false evidence against Jesus so that they could put him to death.  But they did not find any, though many false witnesses came forward.  Finally two came forward and declared, “This fellow said, ‘I am able to destroy the temple of God and rebuild it in three days.’”

Then the high priest stood up and said to Jesus, “Are you not going to answer? What is this testimony that these men are bringing against you?”

But Jesus remained silent. 

The high priest said to him, “I charge you under oath by the living God: Tell us if you are the Messiah, the Son of God.”

“You have said so,” Jesus replied. “But I say to all of you: From now on you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.”

Then the high priest tore his clothes and said, “He has spoken blasphemy! Why do we need any more witnesses? Look, now you have heard the blasphemy. What do you think?”  “He is worthy of death,” they answered.  Then they spit in his face and struck him with their fists. Others slapped him and said, “Prophesy to us, Messiah. Who hit you?"  - Matthew 26:59-68

Tonight (at my very last Small Group Bible Study in Illinois) we talked about the topic of forgiveness.  I couldn't get this passage out of my mind all night.  First of all, may I just say that the Pharisees are such drama queens.  Man.  Tearing robes and freakin' out.  Get over yourselves. 

That's what I would say.

Second of all, the smallest sentence drives me absolutely crazy.  "But Jesus remained silent."  When I first read that verse (many years ago) I wanted to go to Jesus and say, "Why?", "Why didn't you show them?"  My questions later turned to frustration..."JESUS!!!  Why didn't you do something?!"  And then I learned that Jesus doesn't work the way I do.  He doesn't "show them" at any point in the Bible.  He demonstrates his compassion & his power, but he does so in humility and without apology. 

Third, he allowed people to spit.  On him.  In his face.  As they proceeded to strike him.  Multiple times.  Then he allows them to taunt him endlessly.  I mean, I'm pretty sure that people were saying a whole lot more than, "Who hit you?"  I don't know any Hebrew or Aramaic cuss words, but they're out there, peeps.  Swearing is universal.  There had to be yelling and laughing and cackling and a whole lot of other "jokes" too.  Glances between the Pharisees as if to say, "We've got him now."  Abandonment by everyone who claimed loyalty.  Extreme chaos, and complete loss of control.

This is what we talked about tonight: what it means to forgive others.  I am so thankful that Jesus so magnificently models forgiveness for me in this passage.  Because, you know what?  I would have botched it all up.  I would have been calling down all of the angels, and recreated a scene from some gorey movie that I don't even want to think about.

Power does not look the same in the Kingdom of God as it does on the earth.  It means something different by Jesus' definition.  He had forgiven the people around him that were doing all of those things to him before they had even asked.  Man.  It feels so counter-intuitive.  But Jesus led the way, and he enables us to do the same.

I am still working on what it means to forgive myself, let alone others, but I am thankful that Jesus shows me how.