Obsessed.

I decided today that I'm going to be the first person ever in a perfume commercial while riding in a wheelchair.  Obsession or Obsessed.  Or whatever...it's going to be fluid and awesome. 

Anyway.  So.  Reason number 123 for not breaking both of your legs: when you wheel around your house in your fluid and awesome wheelchair (without stickers - it's a loaner), you bump into the freshly painted walls, leaving very large gashes & black marks.  My poor mother. She worked so hard painting our house, and I come through and ruin the work.  It drives me nuts, because no matter how slow I go, I always bump into something.  And you can always tell.  There's no hiding it.  It drives me absolutely bonkers.  I'm slightly OCD about marks on walls, and I so long to go into the garage late at night so I can sneak the paint in to cover my tracks.  Reason 124 for not breaking both of your legs: so you can go into the garage to get paint.  ; )

My friend Alaina is obsessed with Tim Tebow. I mean, maybe not obsessed, but it's close.  She really really really really likes Tim Tebow.  I hardly know the guy, so I don't have much to say about him, except, "What's not to like?"  I know he loves Jesus, and he obviously has strong muscles because he plays professional football.  That's what she tells me anyway.  I pray for her, that one day she will meet him, and that they will get married.  At first, I thought that was a silly prayer, but after a while, I was like, "You know what?  God hears what we ask him for, and if it's in his will for Alaina and Tim to be married, it'll happen."  So that's what I pray for.  She'll thank me one day.

When myself and others around me asked God in the last weeks to heal my body, to mend my bones, to provide for my family & I, to teach me in the midst of a trying circumstance, and to be drawn closer to Him, he heard those prayers.  I will never forget the story of a Spiel-shining friend: her 7-year-old daughter was sitting in church with her one Sunday.  All of a sudden, out of the corner of her eye, she sees her daughter slide down from the pew unto the kneeler in her church.  She sees her with her little head bowed & eyes shut tight, and the mom said she just knew.  She knew what her daughter was doing.  It moved her, I think.  It moved me.  Later, she asked her daughter what she had been praying for & she told her that she had been "praying for Miss Catie."  Do you know how amazing that is to me?  I have heard more than one story of kids who pray for me.  Do you know how wonderful that is?  Kids are praying for me.  Man, what an honor.  I tell you, I am blessed.

When we talk to God, I think that's how he sees us.  I pray that's how he sees me: with innocent intent, and an honest heart, earnestly eager to talk with him.  Like a child. 

It's been 47 days since I have started my journey as a woman who is unable to walk.  Forty-seven.  Ahhhhh!  I have been able to spiritually walk so much closer to Jesus, to my family, and to many people around me who encourage me.  I find myself able to open up more and more, not only about what God is doing with my broken legs physically, but what he's teaching me & showing me.  It's been an adventure that I wouldn't trade for anything.

It has taught me to ask the Lord for things that I wouldn't normally ask for: that I don't act like a 16-year-old around my 16-year-old sisters, especially in the car, for my neighbors in Illinois, for my doctor's appointment this Wednesday, for the college students from Judson University that sustained leg injuries a month ago from getting hit by a car from behind, a friend of a friend that broke her leg in a car accident, for healing in my grandma, whose legs will not ever work as they were designed to again thanks to a disease called IBM, and for the frustration that not being able to walk normally can bring, the people within my community that have no one to take care of them, encourage them, or be patient with them...these things have been brought to the surface of my life because of where I am at; I'm incredibly thankful.  And God hears.  It's funny, isn't it?  He pulls things into our paths, brings thoughts to our minds, surfaces them in our hearts, and includes us in the process by allowing us to request of him & and be honest with him.

I thankful for him.  I pray that He would be richly blessed.

I'm obsessed with seeing things from a different angle, at all times.  The physical challenges brought into my life have given me a new angle, and it excites me!  It's one of the reasons that I'm obsessed with Jesus Christ; he lived life differently than all other people.  He has opened my eyes wide, ushered me into the presence of the King, and allowed me to use my lips & my life to praise!

David, the author of the Pslams, (whom I've talked about already this week), was obsessed with the Lord.  It was all he could think about, especially when he was hiding out in the back of a cold, dark cave.  Day and night.  All he could think of was God.  I read this recently:

"God - you're my God!
I can't get enough of you!
I've worked up such hunger and thirst for God,
traveling across dry and weary deserts.

So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open,
drinking in your strength and glory.
In your generous love I am really living at last!
My lips brim praises like fountains.
I bless you every time I take a breath;
My arms wave like banners of praise to you...

...If I'm sleepless at midnight,
I spend the hours in grateful reflection.
Because you've always stood up for me,
I'm free to run and play.
I hold on to you for dear life,
and you hold me steady as a post."

Mmmm.

It's part of Psalm 63.  If you need a second, take it.  Stop reading now if you need to go think on your own for a little while.  Or, go back and re-read it. 

This Psalm is my anthem.  I am obsessed with the Lord!  He is my God, and I get myself all worked up when I talk about it.  Some nights, my fingers just can't stop dancing across my keyboard.  I can't say enough about him!  I'm free to run and play, drinking in the strength and glory of the Lord...in his generous love, I have finally found life.

Sometimes, when the people in the mall stare at me for especially long periods of time, I want to go up to them and just start telling them what He has done for me.  Do you think they would believe me?  When people say things like, "That's a great way to spend Christmas," I can't help but say, "But it is! I'm free!"  They probably think I'm nuts.  In all actuality, I'm as steady as a post.  I'm obsessed with growing into the likeness of Jesus, and with my arms flailing, my lips full, and my heart filled to the brim, I take this moment to just praise my Heavenly Dad.  He so knows what He's doing.  At all times.

I pray that in each of the 31 entries of this blog so far, that you sense joy.  Man, I so hope you do.  Because I have been filled with it each day, days beyond days described.  Beyond description.  The light that shines from behind my words in this blog is not just any beacon, it is the light of Jesus.  May this light shine brightly into your heart, and may your heart, too, be filled to the brim.