Follow.

"Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat—I am.

Don't run from suffering; embrace it.

Follow me and I'll show you how.

Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? If any of you is embarrassed with me and the way I'm leading you, know that the Son of Man will be far more embarrassed with you when he arrives in all his splendor in company with the Father and the holy angels. This isn't, you realize, pie in the sky by and by. Some who have taken their stand right here are going to see it happen, see with their own eyes the kingdom of God."  -Luke 9:23-27

Oh man.  This verse is the bomb.  I read it tonight, and I'm totally speechless once again.  God has some pretty amazing things to say to us, and when we listen to his voice amidst all of the other noises surrounding us, it is a beautiful thing. 

I caught my embarrassed self red-handed today as I was talking to a cashier at Caribou.  Lately (because I'm only using one crutch & have only one boot) people have been saying, "Oh my, what happened to your foot?"  It's then that I have to tell my snarky self to shut its pie hole.  (I can't even tell you how many times I seriously want to say, "An elephant stepped on it while I was running around in the exhibit dressed up as Tarzan at the zoo." or "I ran over it while I was driving my car.")  Or, people will ask me how my day is going, and when I say, "It's going good, how's yours?"  The reply?  "Better than yours."  It breaks my heart that people just assume that because I hobble, I'm not happy or hopeful.  Well.  Jesus is pretty cool like that.  He creates new equations:  Hobbling = happy and hopeful.

Anyway, I became really embarrassed when the cashier was drawing her co-workers' attention towards me, and I really just wanted to walk away.  Somehow, I couldn't even find the words, "Jesus" or "thankful" or "thank-you".  I don't know why I got so flustered.  But it is the way I am being led right now, and I need to buck up.  I tell you, it's not pie in the sky.  Thankfully, I can continue to follow my Teacher, and embrace it.

And I can't even begin to say how those last few sentences sum up a whole lot more than the last few months.  I have read a heck of a lot of self-help books, and tried to figure out "who I am", when really, it just comes down to following Jesus.  Heh heh...one hobble at a time.