Up.

Guess what?  

I'm still awake.  I have no clue what has gotten into me, but I am feeling particularly feisty right now.  Something happens to me after 11:35pm.  I feel like I can talk forever.  I think it will just be so great to never have to go to sleep.  I'm really looking forward to heaven.  And talking there.  And speaking in every single language by speaking in one.  Laughter is what I call it now, but there it will be perpetual and never-ending and I can make up words and talk with run-on sentences, and my conversation with Jesus will never end.  I hope I can make him laugh.

I had a doctor's appointment today with Supermarks.  My doctor cracks me up.  He wears the cheesiest, coolest ties in the world, and he totally pulls them off.  I remember every one of them.  Today it was bright pink plaid with a hint of clownishness to it.  He has a firm handshake, and I feel like he's telling me the truth, even when I know he's withholding information behind smiling eyes.  For instance, this morning his assistant told me that I had arthritis developing in my left foot (which, frustratingly, surprised nobody but me.  I don't want pity, but I felt like, "Why did everyone but me know this was going to happen this soon?").  He didn't say anything about it at all until I mentioned it, so it must not be a big deal.  Someone asked me today, "So, what can you do about it?"  I was like, "Not eat red meat."

That's where I'm at.  I am no longer to eat red meat, and I am to consume Calcium and Vitamin C like a ravenous herbivore.  Just call me Brontosaurus.  I found Kale at Woodman's tonight for $.79 cents.  Cha-ching!  Let's you and me use it to star in Arthassic Park.  Our Kale can be a long-extinct species of plant that we find while foraging next to Alan & Ellie.  Then we can morph into Power Rangers and steal their Jeep.  Singing the Darkwing Duck theme song.
 
Speaking of Darkwing Duck, I joined a gym.  *sigh*  Selfishly and oh-so-pridefully, I hate admitting it.  All my life I have felt like working out is for losers.  (Sorry.)  I've always been just a little bit fat, and I've mostly always been okay with it.  My friend says being pudgy makes you approachable.  Secretly, this notion is what I have used to justify my flab for the last several years, but I have realized the error of my ways.  Being a little bit fat makes it a lot of bit hard to walk on an arthritic foot.  I have submitted to the fact that my body now stores 20 extra pounds post-beddom.  The saddest part is that everyone's first reply is, "Really?  You can't even tell!"  *insert gym membership joining here*  Yes, I've said it, my weight has gone up by 20 stupid numbers, and I look the same as I did October 30th.

So.  Moving on.  There is this magical machine called an, "eliptical" (not to be confused with "ellipse" or "moon shape" or "geometry"), and it has worked it's magicalness on my foot.  I'm finding that it is quite satisfying to do something that accelerates my heart rate, and to be able to do it quickly.  My foot is noticeably looser.  Imagine that!  Superwoman was right!  Poor woman.  She would be so disappointed that I wasn't doing my band exercises either.  I got in trouble for that today.  : /  I am also finding out as a gym member how self-absorbed and conscious I can be.  I walk into the gym and my first thought is, "Everybody is looking at me."  Which is stupid.  And untrue.  And extremely narcissistic.  Except for maybe when I look up and see someone gawking at the sexy red line down my right leg.  And the sexy sweat building up on my back after .35 miles.  I just mouth, "Shark attack", and they look away with wide eyes as they mouth, "Shark attack" to their running buddy.  Apparently, sharks these days have very straight teeth.  Little do they know that I was really kicked by a vicious kangaroo.  They have really sharp claw talons.

As I was sitting on my doctor bench today crinkling the toilet paper tissue paper printer paper mixture beneath my butt, telling part of my story (kangaroo included) to a doctor (in residency), I almost lost it.  The recent story of the man dying at the Ranger's game, (after falling 20 feet) kept floating around in my brain.  I can't imagine what his family is going through; he was trying to catch a baseball for his young son.  That was with him at the game.  I tried to explain to this doctor that I can't take any credit for the way that my legs and feet have healed.  I kept thinking: "I'm never going to see this man again, and I don't want to verbally vomit on him.  Should I try to explain to him that Jesus is the one that deserves it?"  The story of the girl my age falling down two stories and dying (the same weekend I fell) then snuck in.  He looked and looked and looked at my initial x-rays until he found a side view of my talus bone that I never seen before.  My initial reaction was: Yuck.  Then: Whoa.  It looks like a firework.  Then: Ouch.  Then:  Whoa.  Then, he looked at the fuzzy arthritis picture.  Me: It will be okay.  All I could do was look up to keep the tears from streaming down my face.  

This morning, as I waited in line to see my doctor, I looked out the 5th floor window of the hospital.  Over the entire stretch of the city, all the way to the Brewer's Stadium, there was a beautifully large storm...well...brewing.  Twenty feet of light seemed to peek through the clouds, right on the horizon, blazing through in all of its orange and red and purple glory like an artist had streaked a canvas with one brush stroke.  It seems a little silly to read so much into it, but it was overwhelmingly powerful to me.  I am blessed to be able to walk from the hospital to the parking garage, enjoying the rain drops on the way out.  I am truly thankful to be alive, even when so many storms brew over my head.  I am a reflection of the image of my Creator, and I am reminded of my need to stop.  To laugh.  To cry.  To take care of myself.  To reflect.  To praise Him for what he has done, what he is doing, and what he is yet to do.  To remember to look up.  

There's absolutely no way I can summarize this passage, or explain the truth it speaks to my heart.  I hope it's an encouragement to you, wherever you are at on your journey, friend. 

Psalm 111

Praise the LORD!
I will give thanks to the LORD with all my heart,
In the company of the upright and in the assembly.
Great are the works of the LORD;
They are studied by all who delight in them.
Splendid and majestic is His work,
And His righteousness endures forever.
 
He has made His wonders to be remembered;
The LORD is gracious and compassionate.

He has given food to those who fear Him;
He will remember His covenant forever.
He has made known to His people the power of His works,
In giving them the heritage of the nations.
The works of His hands are truth and justice;
All His precepts are sure.  
They are upheld forever and ever;
They are performed in truth and uprightness. 
He has sent redemption to His people;
He has ordained His covenant forever;
Holy and awesome is His name.
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;
A good understanding have all those who do His commandments;
His praise endures forever.